Seven Minutes in Hell
by A.Baroness
Summary: When Niles accompanies Roz and Frasier to a party, he knows it can't end well. And he is right - sort of. Two-Parter.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I was inspired by a prompt and also I realized I needed to write something different for a change. This is what happened.

* * *

He never should have said yes. Niles squeezed by a couple making out furiously against a table that seemed to be as uncomfortable as he was. His muttered "excuse me" was completely lost amidst the sounds of these two lovebirds and the music from further down the hall. Niles could have sworn he had traveled back in time and was right back in his college days. Except that no one had ever invited him to a party like this; with loud music, too much alcohol and desire around every corner. No, he had been to the quiet parties usually thrown by either the chess club or his literary reading club. Nothing had prepared him for this madness that Roz called a party. He should have known, though. After all, it was Roz. If only he had said no, he thought as he went to look for a place to hide. As always, Frasier was to blame for everything.

Earlier that day Niles had been in a good mood. So good in fact that he asked Frasier what he was doing that night.

"Roz invited me to a party." His brother had told him.

"So? Since when do you and Roz run in the same social circles?"

"I've been thinking I should broaden my horizon. You should as well, Niles."

"I'm perfectly fine." Frasier had huffed after that.

"What? I am!"

"You're newly divorced and lusting after a woman who has no idea how you're feeling. You're not fine, Niles."

"Well, think whatever you want. So you're not free tonight?"

"No, I'm not."

"That's too bad. I was thinking you could accompany me to _Rigoletto_ tonight."

"Niles, you've seen that opera a hundred times. And you don't even like it all that much!"

"I don't want to sit at home on a Friday night." Niles had admitted through gritted teeth and in hindsight that must have been his greatest mistake.

"That's exactly why you're coming with me and Roz."

"Oh no, I'm most certainly not!"

"Oh yes, little brother, you are because you're just as desperate as I am. And you know what? We're going to have fun."

"I don't like you very much today, Frasier." His brother had merely grinned.

And now here he was; at a party he simply didn't belong to. It seemed strange to think that most of these people were his contemporaries. A while ago he had listened to a group of men talking and was shocked to find they were his age. Just like back in the day when he was much younger, though, he just couldn't relate. A part of him wondered if any of this would have been different if Daphne had come to this party. He had asked Roz about her on the way over:

"So uhm, who is coming to this party? Did you invite Daphne too?"

"Niles, cut it out." Frasier had whispered angrily.

"I did actually," Roz had clearly heard Frasier's interjection, but had chosen to ignore it, "But she has a date tonight."

"Oh."

"There'll be other women to distract you."

"I don't want – I mean – I-"

"Frasier, why did you bring him?" Roz had complained. Though for once Niles had mentally agreed with her.

So that was that. Daphne was out enjoying herself – or not. Niles clung to that thought like a man lost at sea might cling to an anchor. He could leave earlier; no one would miss him here anyway. He could leave and maybe see if Daphne was all right after her date. Considering her oftentimes strange taste in men, there was a chance she was heartbroken and alone. Niles couldn't let that happen. Nodding to himself, he hurried to find his coat. When a drunk man stumbled past him he considered leaving without his coat, but he remembered that it was handmade Italian craftsmanship and he couldn't just leave it here amongst these people.

The room with the coat closet was dimly lit. Niles didn't question why; if anyone was hidden here playing adult games, he didn't care to know about it. He slipped and always fell into the closet. It was a walk-in closet but way too small for Niles' tastes. Without aiding light, though, it seemed like an impossible task to find his coat.

Suddenly the door to the closet was slammed shut and a body fell against him. He shrieked and a hand covered his mouth. Niles was ready to feign death when he recognized Roz. She released him upon seeing his softening expression.

"Niles?" Roz stared at him and seemed almost glad it was him. Niles wiped furiously at his mouth with his handkerchief. Who knew where her hand had been. Just another thing he didn't want to think about. The germs however had to go as soon as possible.

"Oh, it's just you." Niles said once his heart beat normally again and the feel of her hand on his mouth was gone.

"What are you doing here? Hiding?"

"If you must know I was looking for my coat."

"You're leaving without Frasier?" It hadn't even occurred to him to tell his brother about leaving. Once again his mind had been concentrated on Daphne and that thought alone had pushed everything else aside.

"I haven't seen him in hours." Niles had lost all concept of time; it could have been merely one hour.

"Funny, neither have I," Roz said, "I'm gonna come with you."

"What? No. I'm going home." He hoped his nose wouldn't betray him.

"I don't care where you're going, Niles. I just want to leave." That sparked his interest.

"Why?"

"No reason. I'm tired." She shrugged.

"You're lying."

"Oh, right. Says the guy whose nose is bleeding." Niles quickly touched his nose only to find it dry. Roz laughed.

"Niles, you're so easy to read. I know you were going to see Daphne. She might not be home yet, you know. She might not be home before morning."

"Daphne isn't like that."

"I think I might know her a little better than you do. All you ever do is gaze at her."

"I do not gaze at her." Niles defended himself. He was too angry to care that it was a lie; he'd been in denial about his gazing ever since Frasier mentioned it years ago. And how dare Roz say these things!

"Right." Roz chuckled. "I don't care, Niles. No one cares. Let's just share a cab."

"Why are you so adamant about leaving together?"

"Geez, Niles just-"

"Roz, are you hiding from me?" A male voice from outside the closet asked. Niles felt Roz stiffen beside him and she quickly locked the door.

"Roz?" The voice asked again.

"Sorry, I'm in here playing seven minutes in heaven!" She replied in a sing-song voice. Niles opened his mouth to protest but found he was too shocked to say anything. The door knob rattled and Roz practically jumped against Niles. He had never seen her scared before. However, he didn't care for her invading his personal space and so he gently, but firmly, pushed her away.

"Aw, but why aren't you playing with me?"

"I like this guy better." She stared directly at Niles and grinned somewhat uncertainly.

"I don't hear anything. Are you sure you're playing it right? Cause if you were playing it with me, you sure couldn't talk!"

"Niles, kiss me." Roz whispered impatiently.

"No way!" He said louder than anticipated.

"He doesn't want to play, Roz. I do!" The guy in front of the door said with urgency.

"That guy is creepy. How do you find these men, Roz?" Niles asked and made sure it was just above a whisper this time.

"I didn't find him! I have no interest in that guy whatsoever. He wouldn't leave me alone." Normally Niles would make some comment about the dozens of men Roz dated, but something in her voice assured him this was a different thing. And while she could be a nuisance, she didn't deserve to be treated like that.

"Uhm, Mr.-"

"You talking to me? I'm Sean!"

"Yes, Sean. You see Roz and I would like some privacy."

"You're not doing it right when you can still talk." Roz sighed audibly and grabbed Niles' tie. He let out a small shriek.

"He can't see us, Roz! Can't we just stay quiet?"

"I'm just making sure you'll definitely stay quiet." She said and put her mouth on his.

 **END Part I**


	2. Chapter 2

Kissing Roz felt like the end of the world. Except that the end of the world looked like a vividly colored sunset. It sounded like his favorite opera played by the best orchestra in the whole world. And it tasted like a rich, powerful wine tasted in just the right temperature. It was everything he never thought possible. Every protest he might have wanted to utter a moment ago disappeared in the little air they shared. Roz knew exactly what she was doing; sucking on his button lip, Niles couldn't help but sigh against her. In return he felt her smile against his lips as she deepened the kiss. His hands found their way to her hips while hers were roaming over his body seemingly everywhere. In the back of his mind, he realized that this was Roz. Roz! He knew he should stop this nonsense immediately. Except his body didn't think of any of this as wrong. No, it participated happily.

"Guys, guys I believe you! Roz, please is it my turn now?" Sean's voice bellowed from outside and it finally broke the moment between Roz and Niles. Their mouths separated but neither of them moved their head away. They stared at each other still breathing the same air and neither was sure what to say or do next.

"Sorry, Sean," Niles said and licked his lips, "I think we need some more time to get to… know each other." Niles just watched as Roz' confused expression turned into a loving smile. He'd never seen her smile like that before; softly, genuinely. He was really getting to know her, he realized. This wasn't the annoying woman his life had accidentally clashed with because she worked with his brother. This was them, raw and new, seeing each other for the very first time.

"I guess I'll go then." Not that either of them cared about Sean's feeling, but he sounded hurt. They heard him shuffle away. With any other guy who possessed a certain amount of intelligence they would have been wary and wondering if he'd really left. Sean, however, wasn't clever enough to pretend anything just so he could get a glimpse of Niles and Roz.

"So you still want to leave?" Roz asked absent-mindedly biting her lip.

"I thought we were playing this heaven game."

"Niles, do you have any idea what seven minutes in heaven even is?"

"Of course," Roz raised her eyebrows, "not. I figured it had something to do with kissing. Quite frankly it sounds juvenile and I don't know why educated adults would be interested in such things."

"They aren't. It's a game you play in high school."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So do you want to leave?" She put emphasis on the leave.

"I've never been to parties when I was in high school," Niles mused. His hands were still on Roz' hips. It felt just right having them there. "so I guess this is another thing I never got to experience." Just because it was juvenile and beneath him didn't mean he had no interest whatsoever. He had often wondered what other kids his age had been doing. Now he had finally gotten a taste and quite literally, too.

"Do you want to experience it?" Roz asked him with wide eyes.

"I'm not sure. Up until Sean interrupted us, it was nice." Niles wasn't sure what he was doing, but he knew he wasn't ready to let go of Roz or this moment.

"It's just a game." Roz told him. But for Niles it wasn't. If they kept this inside of here, inside this dingy closet, no one would ever know. Not Frasier, not Daphne; it would be their own dirty secret. It was the safest way out, Niles knew that. It was also cheap and it wasn't like him at all. He conjured up Daphne's image and it blurred before him, morphing into Roz. Who was standing there waiting for an answer. Daphne had no idea about his feelings. For all he knew she was just getting to know someone else better. She might be falling in love with her soulmate. And all the while Roz was here with him. Just waiting for him to make a move. For once Niles decided to go with his feelings right there and then.

"Can we play it a moment longer?" He finally asked with a sheepish grin. Roz didn't really need to think about it; whatever happened inside here, it would stay right there. Between coats and unfamiliar scents. A secret lodged between two walls, never to be spoken of ever again. So she did the only reasonable thing: she leaned forward and captured Niles' mouth with her own. For another few minutes in heaven. Or hell.

 **THE END**


End file.
